I stepped out into the bright, blue sky, sparkling day on a morning at the beginning of March for a walk to the woods. What else could rival this clear direction and where I am lucky enough to choose my work hours. Plenty of time to sit at my desk or before my wide window, when the grey and wet take the stage.
I wandered through side streets towards Clifton Green and the Suspension Bridge. Warm sun (though the air was cold without it), and the sweetest bird song accompanied.
Crossing the suspension bridge brought me out of the city and into what always feels like a countryside walk along North Road to the woods. This change of world: now more spacious, more populated by bird song, the presence of many roadside trees, and the great gorge where far below the wide river sparkled.
In this land there is no time as it appears for worldly concerns, but only the ‘is’ of the moment. And I, happy to be in it.
Along the half mile or so to the woods I met a few fellow walkers; some with dogs, or the company of another, one, like me, alone, but mostly the path spacious and empty. Empty and full, fullness of abundant life, beaming, trilling, calling, trees stretching skyward to the light. My pleasure; gift of appreciation for our dear Earth.
Words filtered through as I walked, informing in the way of writings, poems, the work of consciousness. Words which are my love, my noble companion, accomplice of my ‘off track’ life and living. No longer the loyal noble companionship of wonderful dogs, but rather a sparkle, a shower, a fountain, a river…….of words.
Later at my desk, gazing occasionally beyond my window at the, mostly bare, winter trees, ancient pear with its fat buds ready to burst; (those that have been left from the voracious appetite of resident squirrels) a thought arose: ‘It is OK to please myself’!
How often and for how long have we been stuck in some deep believing that it is not OK to please oneself. That we must serve others or some outgrown habitual idea connected to should and ought, as priority and first go to.
You have come here to be yourself!
And from this firm base
You serve the whole…….
It can take quite some time to weed out this tangled undergrowth in order to reveal more our shining selves, but we CAN do it. It is the work of these times, important work. The work of recovering our true being selves. And so we can contribute in line with what we have brought in to express.
Trained in turning away
From our own knowing, our own feeling
Stunted into looking outside…..
No matter how your life looks and what your commitments and life schedules are, finding time for yourself and what you love, is a fine work. And as we become more practised, as we realise more the delight of this, in time we begin to prioritise, to realise the true value of it and act accordingly.
Love and very best wishes
Kay
What is it that you love?
Whatever it is that you love
that has perhaps got lost
seek it out
Watch for the flash of a spark
then reach for
twisted paper and thin sticks
till flames kindled lick.
Urge any limp falling back
with a softly blown
bringer of life
breath,
then tend some more
look out for the bright stretching
that twists and turns
a rising dance.
Keep with it
heed not the devil of
doubt and distraction,
await the inner leap
grow orange hot with
brilliance.
Do it now
it is never too late
first novels are published
beyond three score years and ten,
fruit of deepening
with the wrinkles
eyes blazing
brighter
than ever
Kay Baxter
May 2011